Lincoln's Latest Eval.

I swear one day I will write about something else, but hey, at least I'm writing something, right?

Lincoln had his evaluation with Early Start last Friday. Early Start is the California version of Early Intervention in Utah. I've been trying to get him in for an evaluation since March! Last week I got a letter stating that due to budget cuts our services may be cut, and I laughed. Seriously, they can't call me to set up an evaluation to get services, but they can send me a letter stating that my services may be cut. Anyhow, the very next day I got a call to schedule an appointment, and the appointment was three days later. I guess once they actually call you back it goes pretty fast.

Lincoln started the appointment out with one of his typical spectacular fits, but much to my surprise, he only screamed for about 5 minutes. Then he amazed me by how well he did. He did everything that the ladies asked him to do. He talked to them. He even did a few things that I've NEVER seen him do before like draw a circle and a straight line and stack six blocks. I was amazed how well it was going! After an hour one lady started tallying up the results while another talked to me about Lincoln and explained what exactly their budget cuts meant. In the past to qualify for their services a child had to either have a 25% delay in three areas or a 50% delay in one area. Now they have to have a 50% delay in 2 areas, and 25% delays count for nothing. Thank you huge California deficit! While she was explaining this I just kept thinking, "Great, Lincoln did so well that he isn't going to qualify for help."

Then came the results. Their test has 8 categories. He tested "competent" in two categories, 'gross motor', and 'relationship to inanimate objects.' "Competent" being at a 30-33 month level, he will be 34 months tomorrow. Surprising he was "borderline" in language/communication. Shocking since that was the main reason that I thought he needed to be evaluated. Apparently that is the least of his issues. However, the evaluator told me that the nature of their tests rated him higher than he should be in language because it rates overall language. He understands everything, he just doesn't talk much. He tested at a 25% delay in four areas; 'fine motor,' 'self help,' 'emotions and feelings,' and 'coping behavior.' Although I fail to see how a 34 month old child testing at the developmental stage of a 15-18 month old is a 25% delay. Simple math says that is more than 25%, in fact, it seems much closer to 50% to me... but I digress. His lowest score was 'relations to persons' where his developmental age was 13-15 months- his 50% score (although clearly that is greater than 50%).

Much to my surprise, their biggest concern was his "extreme rage." Seriously, those were the words they used. I mean, I know his screaming for hours when he doesn't get his way isn't exactly normal, but I had never thought of it that way. They also agreed with me that he seems to have some tactile issues and would benefit from some therapy there.

So, where do we go from here? They aren't sure if he will qualify for services with them, since he wasn't officially 50% behind in more than one area, they called in inconclusive, and someone else will go over his results and decide. The good news is that he is almost 3. Once he is 3 he will graduate from this program and move to the preschool program through the school district, and unless some miracle happens in the next two months he WILL qualify for that. They also want him to see a pediatric psychologist. Yep, the "A" word was discussed once again... autism. I go back and forth on that one myself, but since this is now the 4th specialist to suggest that he has sound indicators, I'm just glad that he is finally being referred to someone who can actually say yes or no. He was supposed to have another evaluation with a pediatric behavior specialist tomorrow. That was scheduled even before this last appointment was, but apparently his doctor is sick, and it was rescheduled for Sept 11. They don't want to schedule his appointment with the psychologist until after he has seen the behavior specialist, so now we are just waiting on that.

Although that was hard to hear as a mom, in a way I'm glad. I am so sick and tired of hearing, "He's just a boy," or "He'll grow out of it," or "He's just stubborn." I'm ready for someone to help him.

Is it Too Much to Ask?

I'm about to loose it here! If you follow my blog, you know that Lincoln has some developmental delays. He has speech, emotional, and social delays and it has been suggested by several doctors that he may be slightly autistic, but I'm not sold on that and he has never been officially diagnosed.

I am so sick of trying to get him help and feeling like everything is working against me. I've been trying since we moved, in March, to get him back into Early Intervention. He received services from them in Utah and it made a world of difference. Well, every time I call their office I'm told that someone will call me back in a few weeks. Seriously, its ridiculous! After the third time I was told that, someone did finally call me back. They took all his info and said that they would send me a pack in the mail. Two weeks later I got the packet, called them to let them know that I received it. I was then told that I have to get a letter from his insurance stating that they won't pay for private therapy. Also that he was being assigned a case manager and that they would call me in 2-3 weeks to set up an appointment. That was two and a half weeks ago. Knowing them once the person finally calls back, if they even do, they won't be able to get him in for a month. He only qualifies for this service until he is three. That's in less than three months, I don't know why I'm even bothering to go through all this.

Its been suggested that preschool might help. Well, he's not quite three, not potty trained or anywhere near it, and finding a preschool has proven difficult. Most preschools around here are way more than we can afford. Ya, sorry but I just don't have $800 a month lying around for part time preschool. So we started looking into headstart. After calling four different offices, each time being told that they are not the right people to talk to and getting the number for the "right" people, I was told that he isn't old enough, and I need to talk to Early Head Start. Ya right, but the time I finally get a hold of them he will be three and I'll have to start over with the regular Head Start.

Then comes the really fun part. I tried to get some kind of diagnosis from his doctor. In order for my insurance to give me any services, including speech therapy I have to get a referral from his doctor. So we went to see the doctor. We waited two hours in the tiny exam room. Me, Savannah, and Lincoln- the out of control two-year-old in a five foot box for two hours. I about lost it! After two hours the doctor finally came in, spent less than two minutes in the room and told me that it seemed to her that there was definitely something going on with Lincoln, but she didn't know what (really, big surprise you spent 2 minutes with him after he was already completely out of control) she was going to refer us to some office that does nothing but evaluate kids. I was told that I should hear back about the referral in 2-3 weeks and if I hadn't heard anything in 3 weeks to call back. So its been four weeks now. I called my insurance on Monday only to find out that the doctor's office never submitted the referral! I'm fuming at this point, but it only gets worse. I called Monday and got an answering machine, so I left a message. Tuesday they didn't call back, so I called back. Twice, and left one message. Today they still hadn't called back. I've called ten times today and gotten nothing but answering machines. I left a message again. I actually left a message on their referral line, their nurse line, and their appointment line. We'll see if they actually call back. If I haven't heard from them by Friday I think I will take my kids down to their office, pay for the stupid parking and sit in their office until they give me the referral, this is beyond ridiculous!

Meanwhile, Lincoln is in what I like to call one of his "manic" states. I really don't think manic is the right word, but I don't know what the right word is. When he gets like this he barely talks. He refuses to eat pretty much anything. Today all he is eating is crackers, which is pretty hard to figure out since he isn't talking and if I try to give him something he doesn't want he screams, hits, and throws things. He won't sleep anywhere but on the couch, and hasn't for about two weeks now. He is having extreme separation anxiety, to the point that he won't even go with Jesse anymore. He doesn't want to go anywhere, and if I try to take him somewhere we have another of his meltdowns. Also Jesse is leaving tomorrow for six weeks. I'm seriously thinkning of just running away. Ok, so not seriously, but it is starting to look tempting.