Judge Not

In relief society today we had a lesson on not judging others. The teacher was a woman, probably around 60 years old. She has no children. Now I'll admit, I don't like this lady. There have been times before that I have not gone to class just because she is teaching. She makes a lot of "Holier than Thou" type comments both when she is teaching, and also when others are teaching. One time a few months ago we were sitting in front of her in sacrament meeting when the speaker (a mother with two autistic children) was talking about raising special needs children in the gospel, and this woman said (rather loudly), "If you can't control your kids then don't take them out in public." Plus there have been many times that she has flat out glared at me when Lincoln has been acting up, like even after I made eye contact, she just kept on glaring.

So anyway, back to the lesson. She said that she was going to give us three "provocative" situations and she wanted us to tell her how we would react. These are the three situations that she used:
1. There is a member of your ward who you know has committed a serious sin.
2. A mother who can't or won't control her children and they become a distraction during church.
3. You see a ward member out to dinner drinking a glass of wine.

I didn't hear the rest of the lesson.

It took all of my willpower to not raise my hand and say that I was extremely offended that she would place a mother who's children and being CHILDREN right up there with major sins. Last time I checked it was not a sin for your children to make noise during church. They are children! We are one of the few religions where children go to the main service with parents. Most churches offer nursery during that time, but I choose to believe that there is a reason that our church includes children during the sacrament meeting. I've always thought that it was expected that occasionally children will cry, shout, or otherwise make noise, and that this was part of them learning to be reverent. I certainly wouldn't think that it is a SIN on the mother's part if her children dare to make a noise.

Maybe I'm being oversensitive. I often feel inadequate in my parenting, especially when it comes to Lincoln. I have, in the past, chosen not to go to church because I feel judged by his behavior. I do often sit in the hall and completely avoid sacrament meeting because I know that he is not capable (and not through some failure in my parenting, but because he is a 3-year-old with special needs) of sitting still and not making noise for an hour.

Or maybe, I just need to realize that the lesson was on not judging. And while that woman may be judging me, maybe I am judging her as well. I have "judged" that she is pretentious and mean. Maybe she is just ignorant, and that is not my place to judge. Hopefully someday she will somehow come to inherit a set of 2-year-old twins with lots of energy, and then she will come to understand just how wrong she is. Or maybe not, but still it isn't my place to judge her only to forgiver her for offending me.